Movie review #2 - Babes with Blades (2018)

Movie Review #2 - Babes With Blades (2018)

Written, directed and starred in by Cecily Fay - So you know it's going to be super f*cking good!!

Run time : Not long enough! Or 1 hour and 36 minutes.

Genre: Mayan history. Har!! Just kidding. Action adventure drama.

IMDB Rating: 2.1 out of 10.

Directed by: Cecily Fay. She also stars in and wrote it. We all know what that means. Good movie! Good movie!

IMDB Link: Babes with Blades (2018)

Storyline: On the dark streets of Draiga, a mining colony occupied by the Visray Empire, lives Azura, the last of a fearsome warrior race known as the Sarnians. After witnessing her once beautiful home world turn into a lifeless husk, Azura must fight to the death in the gladiatorial ring to stay alive. Meanwhile, a group of human freedom fighters form a resistance, seeking to try and protect their families from the oppressive and cruel rule of the Visray Section Commander Sorrentine. Unbeknownst to Azura, the fate of all humans on Draiga is about to rest in her hands. Can she survive long enough to save her colony?

Trailer link: Babes with Blades (2018)

Full movie link: Babes with Blades (2018)

So it's another night and nothing on television.

What to do, what to do?

"I know, we could pluck our nose hairs out with dull tweezers!"

Nah, we did that last night!!

"How about use a cheese grater as a sex toy?"

Then what will we do tomorrow?

"Gosh, I don't know what to do!!"

I know!! MOVIE TIME!!!

"NOOOOOOOO!!!"

Come on, bet we can find a good one.  Here's one, Babes with Blades from 2018. It was written, directed and starred in by Cecily Fay.  

"NOOOOOO!!!!!" 

I bet it's really good.  When the star also wrote and directed and possibly catered, you just know it going to be super awesome!!!

"NOOOOOO!!!!!"

Here's the cover! Doesn't it look awesome!?

"Titties!!"

And swords!!

"And nuclear explosions!!!! Breaking Glass Pictures, I believe you out did yourself on this one!! Lets do it Hound!!"

Okay Mr. Webmaster!!!

Right off the bat, you can tell the supposed budget of $250,000 went to good use just on the Breaking Glass Pictures branding screen. 

"Just the best!! I haven't seen such quality in a very long time. I bet Cecily's kid brother spent a long time working on it."

I bet.

"And the music! Quality stuff right there, am I right Hound Dog?"

You are correct. I find myself cringing in delight at its tone.

"Me as well!! Me as well!!"

Voice over: It was 12 years when so and so laid waste to so and so world.....

"Wait!! Isn't that Earth?"

It sure is!!! It sure is. But let us use our imagination and pretend it's a different planet, ravaged by an evil corporate monster.

"Can we just turn it off and put in Showgirls!?"

No Webmaster, no we cannot!! We promised our readers to review Babes with Blades and damn it that's what we're going to do.

*Webmaster pouts*

"YAY!! A Cecily Fay film!!!!!"

Yep! A mark of goodness and bestest in every film she makes!

"Her brother should have gone to FlamingText and added some flames to her logo. Been like, She on fire babeeee!!"

Yea! And maybe some gold sparkles!!!

"Now you're talking!!!"

Here, I did something. I hope she likes.

"Wow!! You should help her do her next film, Ravage Sword of Destiny!!! Starring - you know who! And written and directed by: Guess!!!!"

Thanks.  

Lets get back to the film. Highly intense battle scene right at the bat.

"What a bunch of douche bags those corporate guys are!! GAWD!!!"

Yes, yes they are.

"Hey Hound Dog, do you think this was inspired by like Avatar, Blade Runner and Conan the Barbarian."

Maybe!

"I got a question...."

Okay.

"Where did she get such sexy dresses on a mining colony?"

Victoria's secret. Now just watch the movie.

"That makes sense....watch out lady warrior in lingerie armor!! Ninjas!!"

EEK!!!!

Okay, enough chit chat, banter, whatever. We're at the point of the review where we stop and think about the movie, mostly how much writing went into the script. Webmaster thinks at least half an hour.

"That evil guy leader of the Corporate hunt squad grinding his teeth and saying his lines was spooky!!"

And that one guy who gets sword stuck in his stomach and dies. Best death scene ever.

"Academy award winning right there!! And again, what about the sound track? Just the best!!!"

Awesome!! Makes me want to dance!!!!

"Should we get back to the movie?"

We should. *Hits play*

*Evil guy* I WANT THOSE TWO MOVIE REVIEWER GUYS TAKEN ALIVE!!!

"Do you think those movie reviewer guys put too much starch in my undies on purpose?"

"I don't know M'lady, maybe we should ask?"

Okay, I think we've done enough to build this picture up, people, you need to go see this film.

"Now!!"

It's got action.

"So much action, you'll pee blood!!"

What?

"I don't know, it sounded good in my head!!"

It got babes!!

"Hot babes!!"

With swords!!

"Big swords!!"

And did I mention it got action?

"You sure did!!"

If you have to see one movie this year with babes with blades, see....

"Babes with Blades!!!"

We haven't even gotten 9 minutes into the film and we're going to rate this!!

"Because we have to go pee!!!"

We rate this 98 kabillion out of 10 Gakanaks!!

"We don't even know what the f*ck a Gakanaks is!!"

And if Cecily Fay reads this, call us, we got a script for you!

"It's called Villians 2: Dogs of Wars!! Starring YOU!!!"

Until next time, I'm Movie Hound and he's Webmaster and we're here to kick asses and take names!!

"BOOM!!!"