Movie Review #3 - Beyond the Call to Duty (2016)

Movie Review #3

Beyond the Call to Duty (2016)

Run time : So much action at 1 hour and 35 minutes.
Genre: Action, drama, horror. Yeah. Horror. You'll see!!
IMDB Rating: 1.6 out of 10.
Directed by: Aleksandar Ivicic (also written by! Yes we all know what that means!! "It going to suck!!" Shaddup Webmaster!!!!
IMDB Link: Beyond the Call to Duty (2016)
Storyline: Five Spec Ops, Alpha Squad, head a simple Recon Mission that turns into an all out war for survival against a wave of undead experiments. Alpha Squad must fight, not just for the sake of their own survival, but the fate of the world.
Trailer link: Beyond the Call to Duty (2016)
Full movie link: Beyond the Call to Duty (2016)

The Military really let their standards go! "I not fat!! I fluffy!"

"I wanna watch a movie!!"

Webmaster, do I have a movie for you!!! Beyond the Call to Duty!!

"Call of Duty was made into a movie?"

No, Beyond the Call to Duty!! Different title.  Written and directed by ...

"NOOOOOOOO!!!"

...Aleksandar Ivicic!

"NOOOOOOO!!!"

We begin our film in Sarajevo, Bosnia and then at some point, we move onto zombies.

"Zombies?"

Yes, zombies.

"Well, how bad could it be?"

Lets find out!!

Okay, I started writing this the other day and had to take Webmaster out for a pee break.

"I had to go potty really bad!!"

And then yesterday, I was sick.

"Really sick, like no get outta bed except to go poo poo and drink big bottle of Robitussin!"

But I'm back to watching some high action fighting movie!

"But we still watching Beyond the Call to Duty!"

Anyways, do you like well choreographed fight scenes?

"No!!"

Do you like your camera action all jerky and stuff, where you can barely tell what the hell you're watching?

"Do I!"

Then....

Beyond the Call to Duty (2016)

is your flick to watch.

"Spin kick!" Webmaster grabs gun and says something in Russian.

I didn't know you knew how to speak Russian!

"Me neither!!!"

"I wonder where they found the actors for this movie!?"

Unemployment office.

"Oh please, nobody there that desperate!! Maybe film maker college!!"

Where at?

"Fargo, North Dakota?"

Nobody there that desperate.

"Naval recruiting station rejects?? Especially the one fat guy smoking cigarettes while on secret special mission!"

Maybe.

Line please!

"Is there something wrong with you?"

I'm sorry boss.

*coughing*

"Would you like a day off? Should I kill you?"

Sorry boss.

*coughing*

"I think the guy coughing is the best coughing in an action movie I've ever seen!! He should have won an Oscar for that performance alone!!!"

Yessir!!!

"I just noticed something!"

What's that?

"Every time someone hits someone, it's the same sound. Like oof! Every time. It's a cartoon sound effect!"

No way!! They throwing real punches and check out those gun fire. Realistic shooting!!

"The hell you say!!!"

"Who wrote this script again?"

Ivicic.

"Not two fifth graders strung out on meth?"

Well, maybe. I'll give it to you that the script isn't very good.  

"Not very good? It awful!! The one fat commando repeats his lines in two different scenes!!! And the fight scenes are like, well, not very good!"

Come on, give the movie a chance, we're only like ten minutes in and we've already killed a bunch of bad guys and discovered the one bad guy is actually an agent with our side.

"Which side are we on?"

The good guys!

"Alright!!" *Grabs his toy gun and shoots at random bad guys* "Look at me, I'm a writer and director too!! Just like that Ivicic person!! PATOOOOOO PATOOOOOO!!!"

How you can tell a good quality film!!

"Or if you need to find some new friends!!"

Wait...what?

"Listen Hound, I like you, but this movie sucks the ass! Like really bad!!!"

It ain't that bad.

"It's worse. Poor fight scenes, awful sound effects, terrible actors and a script that so far is so full of holes, there's not enough putty in the whole world to cover them all. I think the guns are made by Hasbro!!!"

But the title cards are good.

"Yes they are!! Aleksandar spent most of the budget on the title cards!!!"

Maybe.

"Next time, I get to pick the movie!!! Gawd!!" *Storms out of the room*

Come back!! You're missing the big scene where the mad scientist is mixing blood and stuff.

*Peeks back in* I seen!! It red Kool-aid and Mountain Dew!!! Gawd, even the lab scene is awful!!!!" *Storms back out*

He's right, it's not a good movie, but that's the reason we're watching it, so you, the viewing public don't have to!!!

Until next time....AROOOOOOOOO!!!!