Movie Review #5 Girl on the Third Floor (2019) Genre: Erotica. Haha!! Just kidding, training film for ex-hookers wanting to be home renovators. Or horror. Whatever floats your boat, ya kinky bastard. Run Time: According to some people, it'll seem like days but according to IMDB, it's 1 hr 33 mins. Release Date: October 25th, 2019 Directed by: Travis Stevens Written by: Some other people that didn't direct. Can't be good! Right? "Right! We like our movies written and directed by some film school graduate of the ACME Film School!!"  We sure do. Starring: CM Punk (As lonely Teapot #1), Trieste Kelly Dunn (as Franklin D. Roosevelt), Sarah Brooks (As An Angry Leprechaun)  IMDB Rating: 4.8 out of 10. "I have a feeling the raters over there were very generous!!!" I believe you're right Webmaster. Storyline:   Don Koch tries to renovate a rundown mansion with a sordid history for his growing family, only to lear...

MOVIE REVIEW #4 ALIEN OUTBREAK (2020) Run time :  1 hour 24 minutes (1 hr and 30 minutes would be too much action!!!) Genre:  Sci - Fi IMDB Rating:  4.5 out of ten (99 percent of the good ratings are the director and writer, Neil Rowe!!) Directed by: and written by Neil Rowe. You know what that means!! "We go watch a porno?" Shaddup webmaster!!! IMDB Link:   Alien Outbreak Storyline:  In a small rural community local police officers Zoe and Patrick begin their shift as normal but it soon becomes clear that something is wrong. Strange events unfold before their eyes, residents begin behaving strangely and mass suicide panic spreads amongst the community they are trying to protect. Zoe and Patrick realise they are under siege from alien machines as they become cut off from the outside world. They are forced to do battle against these uninvited visitors. With the help of some of the residents Zoe and Patrick begin unravelling the mystery and s...

Movie Review #3 Beyond the Call to Duty (2016) Run time : So much action at 1 hour and 35 minutes. Genre:  Action, drama, horror. Yeah. Horror. You'll see!! IMDB Rating: 1.6 out of 10. Directed by:  Aleksandar Ivicic (also written by! Yes we all know what that means!! "It going to suck!!" Shaddup Webmaster!!!! IMDB Link:   Beyond the Call to Duty (2016) Storyline:  Five Spec Ops, Alpha Squad, head a simple Recon Mission that turns into an all out war for survival against a wave of undead experiments. Alpha Squad must fight, not just for the sake of their own survival, but the fate of the world. Trailer link:   Beyond the Call to Duty (2016) Full movie link:   Beyond the Call to Duty (2016) The Military really let their standards go! "I not fat!! I fluffy!" "I wanna watch a movie!!" Webmaster, do I have a movie for you!!! Beyond the Call to Duty!! "Call of Duty was made into a movie?" No, Beyond the Call to...

Movie Review #2 - Babes With Blades (2018) Written, directed and starred in by Cecily Fay - So you know it's going to be super f*cking good!! Run time :  Not long enough! Or 1 hour and 36 minutes. Genre: Mayan history. Har!! Just kidding. Action adventure drama. IMDB Rating: 2.1 out of 10. Directed by: Cecily Fay. She also stars in and wrote it. We all know what that means. Good movie! Good movie! IMDB Link: Babes with Blades (2018) Storyline:  On the dark streets of Draiga, a mining colony occupied by the Visray Empire, lives Azura, the last of a fearsome warrior race known as the Sarnians. After witnessing her once beautiful home world turn into a lifeless husk, Azura must fight to the death in the gladiatorial ring to stay alive. Meanwhile, a group of human freedom fighters form a resistance, seeking to try and protect their families from the oppressive and cruel rule of the Visray Section Commander Sorrentine. Unbeknownst to Azura, the fate of al...

MOVIE REVIEW #1 Don't sit on the furniture!!  Killer Sofa THE MOVIE  (not to be confused with your mother-in-law's killer sofa!) (2019) Run time: 1 hour 21 minutes (a minute longer and you'd wet yourself!!)  Genre: Horror (some say comedy as well, we'll let you figure it out for yourself!)  IMDB Rating: 3.5 out of 10  Directed by: Bernie Rao (also written by, so you know it is going to be super good!!!)  IMDB Link:  Killer Sofa (2019)     Storyline:  A killer reclining chair becomes enchanted by a girl and starts committing crimes of passion.  Trailer link: Killer Sofa (2019)   Full movie link: Killer Sofa (2019) Is your recliner possessed by the spirit of a psycho ex boyfriend of your girl friend? Is it still infatuated with your girlfriend and has now started committing crimes of passion for her? Then do we have a movie for you!! Welcome to Killer Sofa, THE MOVIE...